I posted a similar status on my personal Facebook account recently, but I wanted to share this here in case it helps somebody else:
In the past six months since my mom died, I’ve made some observations about life and even more about myself. I’m no stranger to death and the grieving process: in my (almost) 30 years on this planet, I’ve lost my parents, grandparents, a handful of relatives, beloved pets, and even one of my former students.
Here is what that has taught me:
- I’ve learned that death never gets easier with each one–this is one of those things “practice” doesn’t improve.
- The grieving process doesn’t take the same path every time and it varies depending on your particular relationship (real, wished-for, or perceived) with that person.
- I’m more resilient than I thought.
- A good support system helps immensely and is so important to get through the grieving process. Don’t do it alone. Even a pet or plant can do wonders for your attitude. It’s also okay to seek professional help; nobody’s going to judge you for it.
- It really is okay to cry. It’s also okay to laugh. You don’t have to be sad all of the time.
- The pain never really goes away completely; it just changes over time.
- It’s okay to grieve for the lost future with that person. They’re not going to be there for important milestones in your life, and it’s okay to be upset about it.
- It is okay to do other things to distract you from thinking about them; it’s really not healthy to think about their death 24/7.
- My mom really taught me a lot and adequately prepared me for adult life.
- You can never have enough pictures with your loved ones, so take as many as you can. One day they’ll be all you have left.
- Death is what makes life so special and precious. Cherish the time spent with people while you’re here on this planet together.
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